A dumb thing that I do every day:

Take my contacts out before I locate my glasses.

This is a problem when your eyes can't see the countertop (or anything else) from a height of 5'6 3/4".

Another dumb thing I do every day: take my glasses off wherever I darn well please and leave them there, rendering them unfindable.

Life is so hard.

Announcement

Seth's deodorant is called Swagger.

Cannerying

To the people who eat the pears I helped can yesterday: I'm sorry if they're the worst canned pears you've ever had. I did not mean to suck at canning.

And to the people who run the cannery: I'm sorry if your machines are ruined. I did not mean to get those pears in those places.