Thursday, October 27, 2011

Pie Heaven

Last night, instead of working out, I participated in a pie eating contest.


Here is my question for you, Universe:

I ate that pie faster than any living thing has ever been known to eat pie. So how come I didn't win?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I have something to say about Encyclopedia Brown


First of all, he's the smartest kid in town. I'm not arguing with that. But there is one case of his that I always think back on with a little bit of doubt.

There was a contest of smarts going on, and it was down to the final two contestants. Each would get a prize. One of the contestants was the son of a man who kept books for a living. Anyways, the last question was: "Name a word that has three sets of double letters in a row." One kid came up with a word and won first prize, but the aforementioned son of the accountant got it wrong and earned second prize.

After the prizes were awarded, they discovered that the first place prize was broken. It was up to Encyclopedia to discover who had broken it. But guess what. He already knew. You flip to the back of the book and Encyclopedia tells you: The second place guy did it, of course. He was the son of an accountant, so there was no way he didn't know an answer to the final question: BOOKKEEPER. So he obviously threw the competition in order to avoid winning the first place prize, which he had to have known was broken.

Here is my thought on that one, Encyclopedia: JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE THE SON OF AN ACCOUNTANT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE REALIZED THAT A WORD DESCRIBING YOUR FATHER'S PROFESSION HAS THREE DOUBLE LETTERS IN A ROW.

I think that would be pretty easy to miss.

But still. Kudos to you, Encyclopedia, for realizing that if George Washington had REALLY stabbed a tree with his sword and left it there for hundreds of years, the sword would have grown with the tree and been out of reach. And for knowing that if a kid had really abandoned his telescope in the middle of examining the sun, three hours later the telescope would have to be aimed at a spot in the sky where the sun no longer was.

I still think of you as the best boy detective around.