Friday, February 26, 2010

Some math for you


ugly day

plus


fashionable scarf

equals


severe hotness.


Notice that in this equation, you also gain fuller hair and cool sunglasses.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

A good one

Seth made up (yet another) song about me (as he is prone to do). It goes like this:

Don donny donny donny donny-don!
Don donny donny donny donny-don.

I took the liberty of adding a few more lines. They are:

Don donny donny donny donny-don!
Don donny donny donny donny-don.
Don donny donny donny donny-don!
Don donny donny donny donny-don.

And it keeps going until Seth tells me to stop. It has a little dance that goes along with it.

Do you like it?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

This is what happens in my nightmares

A coworker tells me something over the phone, then forgets to hang up. I hear him telling another coworker, "Dani isn't a chicken and shrimp kind of person. She's more of a chicken and meatballs kind of person, or a chicken and hamburger kind of person."

I am hurt and offended.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Fake shorthand

I am getting sick of trying to read my wannabe shorthand. (Wannabe because instead of looking like this:

,

it is just regular writing with lots of letters and words left out.)

FOR EXAMPLE. My notebook says this:

"enc inv to ch strat, lk FTHB act qual to purch hm, cn aff it"

This one I successfully deciphered. It means:

"It encourages investors to change their strategy and look for first-time homebuyers who are actually qualified to purchase a home, and can afford it."

But this one? I'm stumped:

"crt income now that's prst, not mny, hap of bg boss, ctrl over lifestyle"

"PRST"???? What the heck is "prst"???

I'm definitely not quoting him on that one.