Friday, November 12, 2010

Mistakes I have made

1. Buying fat free chicken broth.
2. Buying "lite" maple syrup.

Live and learn.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

In the nude

Sometimes I picture my baby in my womb, and those are the times when it really comes home to me that he is completely naked in there.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Voting for one

Today when I showed up at my voting place, a lady saw my enlarged middle and was like, "Voting for two, huh?" I smiled but didn't know what to say except "yes."

Then I went to the next table to collect my ballot, and the guy giving them out was like, "Here are two ballots for you."

I thought, Wow, same joke twice?

I said, "Oh, he's not old enough."

Ballot Man's face said, Who is this crazy lady and what is she talking about?

His mouth said, "What?"

I said, "Um. Never mind." And I blushed.

Turns out you get one ballot for constitutional amendments and one ballot for political offices. Two ballots.

So much for trying to function normally in the world!


Then I came home and saw I had driven away from my house without bothering to close the garage door. Welcome, thieves and murderers!