Some math for you

ugly day

plus

fashionable scarf

equals

severe hotness.

Notice that in this equation, you also gain fuller hair and cool sunglasses.

A good one

Seth made up (yet another) song about me (as he is prone to do). It goes like this:

Don donny donny donny donny-don!
Don donny donny donny donny-don.

I took the liberty of adding a few more lines. They are:

Don donny donny donny donny-don!
Don donny donny donny donny-don.
Don donny donny donny donny-don!
Don donny donny donny donny-don.

And it keeps going until Seth tells me to stop. It has a little dance that goes along with it.

Do you like it?

This is what happens in my nightmares

A coworker tells me something over the phone, then forgets to hang up. I hear him telling another coworker, "Dani isn't a chicken and shrimp kind of person. She's more of a chicken and meatballs kind of person, or a chicken and hamburger kind of person."

I am hurt and offended.

Fake shorthand

I am getting sick of trying to read my wannabe shorthand. (Wannabe because instead of looking like this:

,

it is just regular writing with lots of letters and words left out.)

FOR EXAMPLE. My notebook says this:

"enc inv to ch strat, lk FTHB act qual to purch hm, cn aff it"

This one I successfully deciphered. It means:

"It encourages investors to change their strategy and look for first-time homebuyers who are actually qualified to purchase a home, and can afford it."

But this one? I'm stumped:

"crt income now that's prst, not mny, hap of bg boss, ctrl over lifestyle"

"PRST"???? What the heck is "prst"???

I'm definitely not quoting him on that one.