Friday, April 9, 2010

Mrs. Hunter

My sophomore year of high school, I had the opportunity to be in the class of a woman widely recognized as the scariest teacher in the world. She was scary not just because of her shirts, which were packed with decorative wrinkles, but because she was mean! She went out of her way to make you feel stupid.

She gave "extra credit" for bringing in a roll of paper towels--but it had to be her favorite brand, or else you got docked. (I say "extra credit" in quotes because the whole class was based on a curve, so when everyone in the class brought in a roll of paper towels but you didn't, the curve stepped up 25 points and left you behind with a worse grade. MEAN!) Once I had the audacity to bring in the wrong brand. My grade felt the pain.

One day she was handing out worksheets (or something), and my eyes fixated on her hands. She was wearing the ugliest ring ever. It was jade, a precious stone I did not appreciate in my youth, and huge. I hate that ring, I thought.

But then I remembered how she was the scariest teacher in the world, and decided I should be brave and talk to her instead of cowering.

So when she got to my row, I piped up.

"I like your ring," I said meekly.

She didn't look at me.

"Thanks," she said. AND SHE SMIRKED! Do you know why she smirked? Because she could read my mind! She knew why I was talking to her and what I really thought about her ring!

Scary, right?

But then there was this other time when she was nice to me. My eye was infected and I came in to hand something in before going to the doctor, and she got me some ice and told me to take care of myself. So she must have forgiven me for the ring incident.


Kristina P. said...

She sounds delightful!

breckster said...

There was a substitute in our school that looked EXACTLY like Miss. Viola Swamp. Black died hair, ridiculous clothing, small and wrinkled, she smelled of cigarettes and coffee, and she did all her shopping on the home shopping network. I decided to overcome my fear and ask her about a very interesting bracelet she was wearing, I won her heart. I sorry it didn't work for you... but mine was just a sub.

Chrissie said...

I guess commenting on teachers' jewelry for approval is more common than I thought. I did the same thing to one of my scary teachers (they're always female!), although I don't think the outcome was quite as devastating. Glad she got you ice, though.

The Boob Nazi said...

Paper towels? WTF?

Kristina said...

Ahh! Decorative wrinkles! I remember!

Dave said...


I didn't know she was could read MINDS! or that she could forget anything.

Oh and Boob- She was a Chem teacher. They have paper towel fixations.