Tuesday, February 24, 2009

an embarrassing moment, only now healing

In third grade, my teacher was into theater. He taught us things about it, like once he taught us this song that I still remember that went a little something like this:

hey, look me over, lend me an ear
fresh out of clover, mortgaged up to here...

It also had hand motions.

But the point is, there was this one time when he was quizzing us on theater vocabulary. He said things like "script" and "director," all of which were defined by eager third graders without a hitch. Then he got to "sets."

For a second I thought he said "sex," though being an ABNORMALLY smart third grader (right, mom?) I quickly deduced, based on the vocabulary category, that he must have said "sets."

But my thoughts were already moving in the wrong direction.

I had recently learned that "sex" didn't ALWAYS mean the thing that unworldly children snickered and whispered about on the playground. Sometimes it was a synonym for "gender."

I thought most of my less-sophisticated classmates were probably unaware of this alternate meaning, so I decided to blow my teacher away with my maturity and volunteer this information.

I guess it temporarily slipped my mind that he hadn't really asked for a definition of "sex."

After a long pause where nobody could come up with a definition for "sets," I raised my hand and smartly offered the definition for "sex:" "It's whether you're a boy or a girl," I bragged.

Mr. Baptista paused, realized what I must have been thinking, then exploded with laughter. "SETS, not SEX!" he said, wiping his eyes. The rest of the class giggled with him, eyes wide.

Later at recess a boy in my class came up to me and knowingly commiserated, "you thought he said 'sex,' huh?"

I just blushed, knowing that embarrassment could have EASILY been avoided. Kicking myself and my smart pants.

I don't think I've told that story before. I bet Mr. Baptista has, though.

Now that it's out in the open, maybe I can begin to forget.


The Boob Nazi said...

hahahahaha amazing.

Alison said...

I find it funny that many LDS people have a hard time saying the word "sex" all together, so 10 points for you to have the courage to be witty with the word in 3rd grade.
The reason I've noticed people are uncomfortable about the word sex is because, being pregnant, people kept on asking me when we would (and if we were planning to) find out the "gender" of the baby. See, in today's world - especially in New York - that's essentially asking if we know our child will think he's a boy or girl. So the baby's sex is male, and his gender, hopefully also male.

rychelle said...


Kristina P. said...

I say sex a lot. I think it's awesome. Especially at the Anniversary Inn.

April said...

LMAO....okay that was HILARIOUS. Pretty sure I have had more than one of those in my life.

One time I had to read a story out loud to my class, and I thought I was soooo witty and funny that I couldn't stop laughing. Seriously, I had to get the teacher to read it. Then when he did, I laughed so hard I cried and snot went everywhere...

I still think I might be just that funny.

Becky Marks said...

Oh, now that's funny. Boy, do I have a few stories I could tell...and they took place as an adult, too, so I don't even have the excuse of being in 3rd grade.

The Rambler said...

We either have THAT story that we tell for years OR we become THAT story that others tell :)

It's alright! :)

Thanks for stopping by today!

Brooke said...

Oh Dani, that is SO funny! That's a story you'll never forget!