Breathing Right

Last night was my first night with a Breathe Right strip. And it did help me breathe right, but I felt like it was stretching out my nose. You be the judge.

Before

During

After

What do you think?

Thanks, bus!

The bus that runs along Broadway is alternating between 2 messages on its destination indicator.

"Broadway Avenue North"

and

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

What a great time of year!

Worst Christmas Songs Ever

I don't know which song I hate the most:

1. Do you hear what I hear?
"With a tail as big as a kite, with a tail as big as a kite."

2. The 12 Days of Christmas.
Beyond boring.

3. The one about the shoes the kid has to buy for his mom in case she meets Jesus tonight.
I may or may not secretly love this song.

What am I missing? A lot of people hate The Little Drummer Boy, but it doesn't make me want to scream like some others do.

Least hated Christmas song:
All I Want for Christmas is You.

Nom de Plume

If I had a nom de plume, I believe it would be Lani. Because you see Lani, and you say, "oh--Lahni." Whereas if you see Dani, you say "oh--Danny."

Last nom is still undecided. Any suggestions?

Dani

I am acquainted (professionally) with a guy who has almost certainly read How to Win Friends and Influence People, or at least read a summary of it, like I have.

Here is the rule he has taken very much to heart: "Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

Each time I talk to him, it goes like this:

"Dani, hello. Dani, how are you? I got your email, Dani. Dani, I think I can help you with that."

It's kind of fun. Not sure if I'm influenced or just amused. Maybe influenced.

Guest Accommodations

My dad told me that if I had a website promoting my guest accommodations, he would post a Satisfied Customer review. So here is a website:


You'll always remember your stay at....
THE GRIGGS' GUEST BEDROOM

Located in the beautiful and action-packed Boise, Idaho, The Griggs' Guest Bedroom is a comfortable and affordable place to stay. It includes amenities you won't find anywhere else, like Grandma's old bed and a bathroom shared with two other adults. And, right in your bedroom, you'll find a closet full of someone else's jackets, a bookcase full of someone else's books, a desktop computer and a sewing machine (thread included)! Your stay includes all-you-can-eat breakfast cereal, warm hugs upon arrival, and spirited conversation with the above-mentioned adults.

Photos

Grandma's bed:




















The view:



Cost per room per night: free!

Why I Hate "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"

Jeff Foxworthy: What is the highest 2-digit even number?
Rabbi: (looks serious.) Well, 99 is the highest 2-digit number, but it's odd, so if you go one step down, that's 98. So I'm going to lock in 98.
Jeff Foxworthy: The answer is 98! You make this look so easy!

Do you need another reason?

Jeff Foxworthy: What would you do with $25,000?
Rabbi: Well, I would buy a hybrid car, and take my family on a trip to Israel, and then maybe give a little back to the synagogue.

Taxes: $6,250.
Hybrid car: $20,000
Trip for 4 to Israel: $12,000
Total: $38,250

Amount left to to give back to the synagogue: -$13,250.

Thanks, rabbi.

Moles

From The Nice and the Good, by Iris Murdoch:

"A velvety brown mole on one cheek gave him a curious air of prettiness."

Really! Does the outside of my left knee have a curious air of prettiness as well, Iris?

Finishing a Conversation with a Man Named Ed

Me: Goodbye, El.
Ed: Goodbye.

mmm...bye.

I was just talking on the phone with some guy, and he's one of those that closes conversations with, "mmmm, bye."

So he started going into the "mmmm" but I wasn't done with my pleasantries. So I threw in some things like "thanks very much" and "I'll wait for that email" and "take care," and all the while he just kept "mmmm"-ing.

So it was like "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, bye."

A small sample of a cooking show on public television

"Now we are going to add some Crème fraîche, which means fresh cream."

Crème fraîche: pronounced "Crem Fresh."

"Crem Fresh": means "Fresh Cream."

well! obviously!

Please Consider the Environment Before Leaving the Hair Thing that You Dropped on the Ground Right Where It Is

Monday I came back to work from lunch and saw a hair thing (hair elastic? hair circle?) on the sidewalk. I thought it looked like one I might wear. Then I realized it probably was mine. The day before I had looped a hair thing that looked just like that through a ring on my purse, and 24 hours was just about the amount of time it should have taken to come loose. Plus it was not on my purse anymore.

But I didn't want to bend down and look like a bum off the street who needed a free hair thing, so I kept walking.

It was still there when I went home that night. and when I came back the next morning. and when I went to lunch that day. and when I came back from lunch that day. and when I arrived this morning. and when I went to lunch today. and when I came back from lunch that day.

Why hasn't the wind blown this thing away?

MAYBE I will consider picking it up if it's still there tomorrow. MAYBE.



---


UPDATE: On Friday, December 5th, I picked up the hair thing.

Some Kids I Know

1. The No-Pants Kid. One day in church, I was making eyes at an adorable little boy wearing a collared shirt, a tie and a vest. He was smiling at me from the other side of the bench, and I could only see his oh-so-professional top half. Then his mom lifted him up, and WOW, no pants.

2. The Thumb Baby. He looks like a thumb. Seth loves that kid, I think he's hideous. But in a cute way.

3. The Spider Baby. Those arms and legs! So eerily long!

Sad Little Irish Girl

There were these kids. They were doing some Irish dancing. It was time for the spotlight of the two star dancers. They did their little dance, then pranced back behind the other dancers. While prancing, the one with red hair thudded ungracefully to the floor.

Now her face was also red. The audience pretended it didn't see. But then about a minute later, she fell again. This time the audience gasped and the other star dancer glared at her in horror. She got up, her arms still pinned to her sides. She danced on.

And then she fell again.

WHAT??

I was far enough in the back of the audience that I could laugh my head off without her noticing. Seth and I hoped she was a mean girl who needed to be taught a lesson. But if she was a nice girl--sad!