Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Guest Accommodations

My dad told me that if I had a website promoting my guest accommodations, he would post a Satisfied Customer review. So here is a website:

You'll always remember your stay at....

Located in the beautiful and action-packed Boise, Idaho, The Griggs' Guest Bedroom is a comfortable and affordable place to stay. It includes amenities you won't find anywhere else, like Grandma's old bed and a bathroom shared with two other adults. And, right in your bedroom, you'll find a closet full of someone else's jackets, a bookcase full of someone else's books, a desktop computer and a sewing machine (thread included)! Your stay includes all-you-can-eat breakfast cereal, warm hugs upon arrival, and spirited conversation with the above-mentioned adults.


Grandma's bed:

The view:

Cost per room per night: free!


Blair said...

Do we need to book in advance?

Dani Grigg said...

No reservations necessary! If someone's already in grandma's bed, we'll just throw you right in there with them. the more the merrier, right?

The Boob Nazi said...

I like the comforter!

And is your dad going to put his review on your blog?

Dave said...

Dang, the Boob Nazi beat me to it. Yes of course I'll post the review here... Right HERE in fact: The accommodations are incomparable! Need I say more? Yes I need.

Grandma's bed is so comfortable you won't want to get up or leave. Even more comfortable than it is beautiful with its multi-colored theme carried well throughout the... well, throughout the bed. Maybe the carpet matches too but I don't remember.

Apparently you will be sharing the closet with same, said adults as it is jammed full. I believe the hosts do that to keep honored-guest stays to a comfortable length and not end up with long-term residents. Because, remember the bed is comfortable.

On our stays at Chez Grigg, sumptuous breakfasts of ?blue? pancakes and delicious O's of oats and magnificent bowlfuls of Marshmallow Matey's were served. Yum. Don't let the proprietors off the hook with a lame excuse like "we only do that for old farts."

The massive 9" state of the art CRT television (that's like 22 or 23cm - I looked it up!) with fully directional and adjustable rabbit ears will keep you entertained for hours. And don't worry, they have already popped for the digital converter to keep you viewing right through the year (but don't stay that long or we'll have to share the beautiful and comfortable bed with you.) If rabbit ear adjusting is not your thing, the extensive, pirated library of video favorites will do the trick. We prefer to catch General Conference on the digitally converted, rabbit-eared, screen so for that weekend we call first dibs on the side of the bed closer to the desk - you get the wall side.

I am only disappointed that the guest room website doesn't also have the view from the shared-bathroom window of the fabulous Broncos Stadium. The Blue Field Shrine looms large and loud when the blue monsters are in town.

We highly recommend this guest cottage triplex unit. We also feel obligated to disclose that we've been paid a substantial amount from the web-mistress to post this review and that the views expressed are those of the web-mistress and her now-one-year-older Grigg Man and not the views of this station, its owner or employees. If you disagree or if you vehemently AGree please direct comments to the author at his blog by clicking on this convenient link. http://is.gd/3EI Don't give up if it doesn't click through - simply cut and paste to your browser. Bring it.

LJ said...

There's a part in The Great Muppet Caper where they're looking for a place to stay in England. Allow me to share the following dialogue:

Kermit: We were wondering if you could recommend a nice hotel. Actually, a cheap hotel.
British Gentleman: How cheap?
Fozzie: Free.
British Gentleman: Well, that narrows the field a bit.
[reading from his guide]
British Gentleman: Let's see. "Places where you can park your carcasses." Bus terminals... River banks... The Happiness Hotel...
Kermit: Happiness Hotel? That sounds great.
Gonzo: What's wrong with bus terminals?

I love that movie.

Andy said...

I think some other amenities that you could post to entice prospective guests are such comforts as: free wireless Internet, with a progressively better signal the closer you are to the International Christian Church across the street; one broken-down scooter for use as a prop in carefree college photos; one Clearplay DVD player so you can watch all of your favorite movies without such vulgarities as "disrespect to parents" or "bigotry," which as we know spoil many of Hollywood's greatest; and the Albertson's with the dog-pound-smelling pharmacy section only a short walk away.

rychelle said...

I have a guest couch...but I am 2 hours from Chicago!!!

Seth said...

One feature not mentioned: you can see the Bronco Stadium from the bathroom so Bronco home games are included in the stay should you choose to visit in the fall.